Letting Go

This morning I have been thinking a lot about the ways that I am wanting to change and become better. Recently, my dad gave me a book titled “Letting Go– The Pathway of Surrender” by David R. Hawkins. It has taught me so much about my negative and positive emotions, and what I realized is that I live in a state of negativity.

Hawkins believes that all emotions and feelings cause us to make decisions, but certain emotions help us to make better decisions and find true happiness. For example:

Peace, Joy, Love, Reason, Acceptance, Willingness, Neutrality, and Courage are all positive emotions. Peace is at a higher level of positivity than Courage, but all are still good. However, we also experience the negative emotions such as Pride, Anger, Desire, Fear, Grief, Apathy, Guilt and Shame. Obviously, Pride is a higher level than Shame, but all cause negative things to happen to us.

So, with this information and after reading his whole book, I have been thinking about some of my negative feelings associated with those emotions.

For example:

I have PRIDE for my work ethic and like it when other people recognize what I have accomplished and done.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing all the time, but it still is a negative emotion because my intent isn’t because I love my job, or because I love that I can do a good job, but instead its about how much I want people to recognize me.

I feel ANGER whenever I do not get what I want after working so hard for it.

This is a negative emotion because instead of thinking about how I am willing and courageous to try again, I am stuck feeling like its everyone and everything else’s fault.  Anger can accomplish things and changes, don’t get me wrong, but it is not a great place to dwell.

I experience DESIRE when I have a goal and really really really really want it.

This negative emotion is one that I have to let go of the most. Hawkins explains that our DESIRE for something, out constantly dwelling, can make it so we don’t achieve what we want. It actually hold us back. So, I have learned that if I have something that I really want to have happen, that I need to think about why I want it, and let it go. Trust that the universe and God will take care of it, and it normally does. It is so neat.

I constantly dwell in a state of FEAR. Fear that I won’t get to live with God again. Fear that I will end up as an old, single, math teacher. Fear that I will lose those close to me. Fear that I won’t be successful. Fear that I don’t have enough money. Fear that if I drive at night that I will hit an animal and total my car. Fear that I won’t ever make any friends. The list goes on and on.

This is a really hard state to be in. I find myself constantly letting go of my emotions relating to Fear and what is amazing is that when I have truly let it go, I go from a state of Fear automatically to courage. Which is definitely a better feeling. Now I need to figure out how I can come from a state of Fear to a state of Love.

GRIEF and APATHY are hard emotions that I seem to always be in. I am always thinking about the “Shoulda coulda woulda”.

Grief and Apathy are big negative emotions because instead of enjoying what you have at the present you are constantly thinking about the past and how you wish you could’ve done something differently. Reflecting isn’t a bad thing, but GREIF and APATHY sure don’t help you feel good about yourself.

Then we have GUILT and SHAME. I feel Guilt and Shame when I have done something wrong and feel like I don’t deserve to be forgiven. I feel guilt when I do something that is less than perfect.

This is honestly the worst state to be in. It drains everything from us. You would think that because you feel that guilt and shame that you won’t want to do it again, and that is true. Normally we don’t want to do it again. But, sometimes we end up doing it again anyways because we think that we’ve already messed up so what’s another time.

Negative is not a great place to live in. I honestly think that its not really living.

We can experience and recognize what we are feeling and change the way that we look at things. We can start looking for the positive and surrendering to the fact that we can’t control everything.

By understanding my negative feelings, I have been able to let go of them and experience more of the positive emotions. It will be a journey of a lifetime, but I am grateful for experiences that help me to recognize that my life can be so much more.

I know that as you let go of your negative emotions that you will get to experience true joy and happiness. I challenge you to find something that you have negative emotions for and start to tackle it and let it go. I promise you great strength as you do so!

Letting Go post 2



Book of Mormon Monday: Purpose and Introduction

Book of Mormon Monday officially starts today. The video has been uploaded to YouTube. 🙂 I am super excited about this!  Click on this link to take you to the video. https://youtu.be/F54guXeOCgo

This video is less than 10 minutes long and briefly takes you through the first 4 pages of what you would see if you started to read the Book of Mormon.

To Summarize:

Title Page: Shows that the Book of Mormon is ANOTHER Testament of Jesus Christ

Second Title Page: Explains the purpose of the Book of Mormon and that it is created for “the convincing of the Jew and Gentile that JESUS IS THE CHRIST, the ETERNAL GOD, manifesting himself unto all nations” (Book of Mormon)

Table of Contents: Each of the Men listed were called of God to keep the record.

Introduction: Explains who the people are that wrote the record, who translated it, and what the PROMISE of the Book is.

If this is something that you are interested in learning about, please check out the video.

I know that if you are sincerely seeking for an answer on if this book is true, that the Lord will provide you with an answer. It has provided me with so much hope throughout the years and has added to my understanding of the Bible to be the word of God.

You can get your own Book of Mormon from https://www.mormon.org/missionaries and then click on the link in the bottom right hand corner to request to get your own Book of Mormon free of charge and delivered to your door! 🙂

Link to Book of Mormon Monday video: https://youtu.be/F54guXeOCgo

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Faith, Action, Commandments and Sacrifice

Today during my personal study, I came across some great scriptures in the New Testament that I think work hand in hand.

The first that stood out to me is the woman in Matthew 9 who was diseased with the issue of blood. In Matthew it reads:

“And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment;

For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.

But Jesus turned him about and when he saw her, he said, Daughter be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour” (Matthew 9: 20-22).

These verses have stood out to me many times throughout the years. It is easy to sin and to feel like you are unclean. But, this woman shows us what FAITH can do to help us in the process of repentance and forgiveness. She shows that little acts of faith can help us to be whole.

I also love that Christ doesn’t care what we have been through. He knows that all we need is to have faith in him and ACT on it and he will make us whole right then.

I then came across the story of the young man who comes to Christ and asks him:

“Good Master what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?

And He said unto him, Why callest me good? There is not good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.

He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness,

Honor thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: WHAT LACK I YET?” (Matthew 19: 16-20)

This is where I stopped and thought to myself. What is it that I lack? What could I be doing better to follow Christ, to serve him, to strengthen my faith or to be better cleansed from my sins?

Christ continues to teach the young man by saying:

“If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.

But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions.

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven.

And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved?

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore?

And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life” (Matthew 19: 21-29).

I think that the main message that Christ is trying to teach us is that something that we often LACK is the sacrifice. He has promised us that if we will give up our worldly possessions that we will inherit so many more great things with Eternal Life. I don’t think that He means that we need to get rid of our houses, and leave our families to go on a journey to follow him. I think He means that we need to give up the things that are holding us back from following Him.

That could be social media, entertainment, habits, friends, addictions. Anything that could be keeping us from the Savior.

I love these two stories because I believe that they work hand in hand. We learn from the first that we need to have FAITH and ACT on that faith and the Savior has promised us that we will be able to be whole. Then, we need to KEEP THE COMMANDMENTS and SACRIFICE what is keeping us from the Lord.

I know that as we follow those things, that we will learn how to humble ourselves before the Lord and trust in him as he guides us through our lives. I hope that we each will choose to follow him and to exercise the faith that is needed to do so.

I love my Savior and am so grateful that He has provided us with ways to learn from Him and be guided by the Spirit.

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Big News!

So, I have been praying and thinking a LOT about what to do to further on the work that He needs me to do. I have thought about what things I would’ve liked to have when I was first developing my own testimony and have decided that I am going to promote Book of Mormon Monday.

On Monday every week, starting on 6/18/18,  I will post a link to YouTube and a brief explanation on my blog, as well as the full video on my Facebook page Yaersblog and the link on Twitter and Instagram.

Basically, you should be able to find it! 🙂

These videos will be about the Book of Mormon and what its purpose is. This is for people who have questions about the Book and are wanting to seek out for themselves if it is true, as well as those who are wanting to grow in their understanding.

I am super excited for this and hope that you will benefit from it as well.


Check out my opening video on:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/yaersblog

Twitter: @yaersblog or www.twitter.com/yaersblog

Instagram : @yaersblog or  https://www.instagram.com/yaersblog/?hl=en

YouTube: COMING SOON!! 🙂

If you want you can follow or like these pages as well! 🙂 Thank you all for your support!

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Visiting Mormon Church Sites

I spent the last week driving and driving and driving. We travelled from Utah to Illinois to visit a place that is very dear to the Mormon religion. Nauvoo Illinois is full of many different sites, the Smith Homes, a blacksmith shop, gravestones and many other things that we still have or have been restored from the early saints.

It was a great experience to walk where historical figures like Joseph Smith Jr, Hyrum Smith, Brigham Young, Emma Smith, Wilford Woodruff, and many other inspiring people walked.

To be honest, at first I really thought that Nauvoo was a little boring. You walk into several different shops and each one takes about 45 minutes because the people talk to you about the history. And if you know me, I really struggle with history. It is hard for me to comprehend for some reason. SO, it was all a little over my head.

But, what I learned there made all of the difference.

One of the places that made such a big impact on me was visiting the gravestone of Hyrum, Joseph and Emma Smith. Gravestones of the Smiths

The picture is a little shadowy, but for me, this place touched me more than I expected. When we visited the graves with a big crowd, everyone suddenly became quiet and the spirit was there. I wish I could’ve known these people when they were alive. I love them so much now from learning about them. It was a somber moment for me to look at Joseph’s Grave. He gave so much for this church.

I feel bad for him because his name is remembered for both good and bad, but he did so much good. I honestly think that if he made this religion up and that it was all based on a lie, that he wouldn’t have sacrificed so much for it. He would not have been willing to leave his family, to take hundreds of people across America, and definitely would not have watched his brother die and then die himself if it was fake. It was inspiring to me to realize how much Joseph, Hyrum and Emma gave up for the church.

Another place that I loved was Liberty Jail Liberty Jail

Liberty Jail was a jail that Joseph and 4 other men were placed under false accusations. Eventually they were able to be let out of it.  I loved that they had mannequins in there representing the men. The structure of the jail is the same as what was built during that time. It has been restored, and a building has been built around it. I enjoyed listening to the missionaries talk about this event in history and how it impacted the men, and the saints and then how it will now effect me.

My favorite place to visit was Carthage Jail.

Carthige Jail

Here was the Jail that Hyrum Smith was killed by a bullet in his head, and where Joseph Smith Jr. was killed with two bullets in the back and two in the front and a fall out of a window. It was in Carthage that I realized what a good man Hyrum Smith was.

Hyrum was Joseph’s older brother. I imagine it would be hard to be an older sibling and know that your younger brother was called to be a prophet, but it wasn’t hard for Hyrum. Hyrum was always by his brothers side. He believed in Joseph and knew that he was called of God to be a prophet. He went everywhere with Joseph and died with him. I don’t think I could do that if I knew that Joseph was a liar.

Inside Carthage jail they played the hymn a Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief. This song is about Jesus Christ and I love the line that says “He asked if I for him would die.
The flesh was weak; my blood ran chill, But my free spirit cried, “I will!””

I could feel some tears developing during this song. That is exactly what Christ asked Joseph to do. He never said that it would be easy, but that it is what he was asking of him to restore the church and fulfill his mission and Joseph went with a willing heart, and Hyrum supported Joseph till the end. Seriously so inspiring.

My trip in Nauvoo ended with a quick family picture at the temple. I had spent time in the Nauvoo temple the day before doing sealings and watching my younger cousins perform baptisms. It was a great experience. I love the Nauvoo Temple.

Nauvoo Temple

The Nauvoo temple is inspiring to me because the saints were still trying to finish it as the mobs came into town to cast them out. They were working on it until they couldn’t anymore. Why would they do that? I think its because they knew that the Lord asked them to build a temple and the saints wanted to follow him. They also wanted the covenants and promises of an eternal family and were willing to do what was needed to accomplish it.

Unfortunately, the mobs burned the insides of the temple after the saints left, and then tornadoes came and took down the outside of the temple. So it has been rebuilt and restored. What a blessing it is that we still can have a temple in that location to remember the saints and their sacrifice.

Nauvoo was an inspiring place for me in many ways, but ultimately I just realized how much the saints desired to follow the Lord and how they were willing to sacrifice all that they had to do so. I hope that I will be able to sacrifice with a willing heart like the saints did when I am asked.

I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet. I know that he was visited by God and Jesus Christ. I know this because I have sought for myself if it is true and the Lord has testified it to me. I know that the Lord has made it so that we can communicate with him and receive our own personal revelation. I know that there is a living prophet on the earth today Russel M. Nelson. I know that God asks us to sacrifice because we benefit from the sacrifices. I know that Christ lives and that he loves us and desires us to come and follow him.


Church History Post



Do You Love Me?

There is a story in the Bible that touches me in different ways every time I read it.
In John 21 the Lord comes to Peter after being resurrected. He asks Peter “Peter, do you love me more than you love all this?” Peter said “Yea Lord; thou knowest that I love thee” The Savior asked him yet again, “Peter do you love me?” Peter responded for the second time, “Yea Lord; thou knowest that I love thee”. Then, for the third time, Jesus asks Peter “Peter, do you love me?” And Peter, for the third time answered “Lord… thou knowest that I love thee.”

I can imagine myself in Peters shoes. I think of what it would be like to walk with the Savior and spend time with him and have him say “Yaerli, do you love me more than you love all this?”

It got me thinking. Do I really love the Lord more than I love the things of the world?

Elder Jeffery R. Holland in a talk title The First Great Commandment gave a great interpretation of this story. He said that after Peter responded for the third time that he loved him, that the Lord probably responded with (nonscriptural elaboration):

“Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by the same nets, having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish? What I need Peter, are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do… So, Peter, for the second and presumably the last time, I am asking you to leave all this and to go teach and testify, labor and serve loyally until the day in which they will do to you exactly what they did to me.”

Mic drop right?

I love the point that he makes though. What touched me is the part that says “why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by the same nets, having this same conversation?”

I thought about my own life and how there have been so many times that I have gone to the Lord with my struggles, the same struggles all the time. How I have done the same things over and over again that might not coincide with what the Lord teaches. So, why have I done that? Why am I always having that same conversation with the Lord?

I think it comes down to one thing. Do I love him?

If I were truly living life loving the Lord, then would I act the ways that I do? Would I think the ways that I do? Would I treat people or judge people? Would I keep the commandments? Would I strive to better myself?

All of this automatically happens if I am truly loving the Lord. So, that’s when I decided to change. When I decided that I need to love the Lord and do what he has asked.
It’s not the easiest thing to change and do, and sometimes we are so filled with the shoulda, coulda, woulda, that we forget that the Lord doesn’t ask much from us. He isn’t asking us to go beyond our means and sacrifice all we have for him. He is just asking us to LOVE him. To LOVE him and SERVE him.

I hope when we have opportunity to walk with the Lord and have him ask us if we love him, that we can confidently say “Yea Lord, I love you with all my heart, and I hope you can see with my actions that I do,” and have Him answer “Yes, I know you love me, thank you.”

Do you love me post

2 Weeks Later…

Hey Folks!

Sorry that it has been a while since I last wrote. There have been so many things going through my head and I haven’t quite been able to figure out how to write them down. I have found myself truly humbled these last few weeks. I have found it amazing what many things you can learn in just a few days.

The first thing that I have learned is that opposition is there to make you grow. Part of the reason why I haven’t written anything, is because there have been a few people writing to me about only posting things to do with the Bible and no the Book of Mormon. Which is fine. I totally understand! The Bible is the word of God and we should share things about it. But, I believe the Book of Mormon adds to the Bible in the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and it was really hard for me to have people tell me that I shouldn’t believe the things that I do. I just think that if it teaches of Christ, why does it really matter?

I have finally been able to let it go. It took me a while. I just realized that I know that I am writing about what God needs me too. I am sharing what he needs me too. I am doing this because I love him. Not because I love what people have to say about what I write. That has been what I have needed to let it go. How amazing that is.

The next thing that I have learned is that I cannot control everything. I have an extremely hard time wanting to control anything and everything because I don’t like feeling vulnerable, or in a place of weakness. I have been working hard at recognizing the negative emotions that I have had with control. Emotions like fear of failing, grief about what I should’ve done, and fear of not getting what I want. Its not the easiest thing to let go of, but I have found a lot of peace just with 2 weeks of letting go of those emotions.

The last thing, and probably the most important is that God truly is aware of ME! A couple weeks ago, I got a call from a principal at a school where I am living. He wanted me to come in a meet with them. When I got there, they offered me a job before I even interviewed. It was really neat. But, then I had all the fears and all of the opposition happen. Things with my University and Student Teaching weren’t able to line up. So we went back and forth with the idea of me accepting the job. There was fear about not getting it, and disappointment when things were going wrong.

But, after 2 weeks of figuring things out, we were able to make it work and I will be able to teach next year. It just was perfect knowledge to me that God knows who I am and that he wants me to succeed.

With all of the many things that have happened this week, I have realized that I have been given a great opportunity to experience life. To have a body, to go through trials, successes and find happiness. All of this was given to me because I decided to follow Christ. Just like me, you are here to experience life. I hope that you follow Him and find the true JOY and happiness that he has offered.

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