This morning I have been thinking a lot about the ways that I am wanting to change and become better. Recently, my dad gave me a book titled “Letting Go– The Pathway of Surrender” by David R. Hawkins. It has taught me so much about my negative and positive emotions, and what I realized is that I live in a state of negativity.
Hawkins believes that all emotions and feelings cause us to make decisions, but certain emotions help us to make better decisions and find true happiness. For example:
Peace, Joy, Love, Reason, Acceptance, Willingness, Neutrality, and Courage are all positive emotions. Peace is at a higher level of positivity than Courage, but all are still good. However, we also experience the negative emotions such as Pride, Anger, Desire, Fear, Grief, Apathy, Guilt and Shame. Obviously, Pride is a higher level than Shame, but all cause negative things to happen to us.
So, with this information and after reading his whole book, I have been thinking about some of my negative feelings associated with those emotions.
I have PRIDE for my work ethic and like it when other people recognize what I have accomplished and done.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing all the time, but it still is a negative emotion because my intent isn’t because I love my job, or because I love that I can do a good job, but instead its about how much I want people to recognize me.
I feel ANGER whenever I do not get what I want after working so hard for it.
This is a negative emotion because instead of thinking about how I am willing and courageous to try again, I am stuck feeling like its everyone and everything else’s fault. Anger can accomplish things and changes, don’t get me wrong, but it is not a great place to dwell.
I experience DESIRE when I have a goal and really really really really want it.
This negative emotion is one that I have to let go of the most. Hawkins explains that our DESIRE for something, out constantly dwelling, can make it so we don’t achieve what we want. It actually hold us back. So, I have learned that if I have something that I really want to have happen, that I need to think about why I want it, and let it go. Trust that the universe and God will take care of it, and it normally does. It is so neat.
I constantly dwell in a state of FEAR. Fear that I won’t get to live with God again. Fear that I will end up as an old, single, math teacher. Fear that I will lose those close to me. Fear that I won’t be successful. Fear that I don’t have enough money. Fear that if I drive at night that I will hit an animal and total my car. Fear that I won’t ever make any friends. The list goes on and on.
This is a really hard state to be in. I find myself constantly letting go of my emotions relating to Fear and what is amazing is that when I have truly let it go, I go from a state of Fear automatically to courage. Which is definitely a better feeling. Now I need to figure out how I can come from a state of Fear to a state of Love.
GRIEF and APATHY are hard emotions that I seem to always be in. I am always thinking about the “Shoulda coulda woulda”.
Grief and Apathy are big negative emotions because instead of enjoying what you have at the present you are constantly thinking about the past and how you wish you could’ve done something differently. Reflecting isn’t a bad thing, but GREIF and APATHY sure don’t help you feel good about yourself.
Then we have GUILT and SHAME. I feel Guilt and Shame when I have done something wrong and feel like I don’t deserve to be forgiven. I feel guilt when I do something that is less than perfect.
This is honestly the worst state to be in. It drains everything from us. You would think that because you feel that guilt and shame that you won’t want to do it again, and that is true. Normally we don’t want to do it again. But, sometimes we end up doing it again anyways because we think that we’ve already messed up so what’s another time.
Negative is not a great place to live in. I honestly think that its not really living.
We can experience and recognize what we are feeling and change the way that we look at things. We can start looking for the positive and surrendering to the fact that we can’t control everything.
By understanding my negative feelings, I have been able to let go of them and experience more of the positive emotions. It will be a journey of a lifetime, but I am grateful for experiences that help me to recognize that my life can be so much more.
I know that as you let go of your negative emotions that you will get to experience true joy and happiness. I challenge you to find something that you have negative emotions for and start to tackle it and let it go. I promise you great strength as you do so!